“I teased him about being very
young with a lot of girl-friends but he smiled shyly. He said he’d soon
be 24 – but his body – over 6ft, broad shoulders and slim hips, screamed
sexuality. He once let it slip that he was still a virgin and I showed
surprise. Was he kidding? Then I felt excited – to this day, I’d
never know why.
It would be quite a pleasure teaching him a trick or two about
sex. It would be a teacher/pupil fantasy. My chance to give him sex
education. Afterall, it’s a belief that women hit their sexual peak in
their 30s, and men 20. We’d be in perfect sync. Lust had kicked in.
“My first son was to be 12 a couple of weeks later and I invited
him to attend. He hung around till the end of the party. He was a
bit tipsy by this time. That might have encouraged his next move –
afterall I didn’t exactly hide the fact I found him attractive.
“As soon as we were alone, he pulled me to him and kissed me
hard. I was a bit embarrassed. I’d forgotten his inexperience and
quickly offered him more drinks before sending him on his way I told him
to come back the next day when the children would be at their grandma’s.
“The next day, as soon as I led him to the bedroom he dived into
the bed, quickly peeling off his clothes. As I stripped to my silky
undies, he was virtually quivering. Was it from passion?
Nerves? Quietly, I plotted how to approach this shy, inexperienced man
meeting up with a woman who’d promised him sex.
“Of course I was nervous because I wanted his first time to feel
special. ‘I love you …’ he whispered. Of course he didn’t, I told
myself. Every strappling lad wants sex, lots of it. Well, just like
me! And so it started – the education of Veron. By the time I sent him
home, he’d gained a life time experience. My friends found it hilarious
when I told them. They warned it wouldn’t last. But who
cared? This wasn’t about love, it was animal passion.
A few months after, he confessed again that he loved me. I
told him not to be silly. That he’s got his whole life ahead of him, why
tie himself down to a mother of two? ‘Don’t you feel the same abut me?’
he asked, hurt, I told him I did, convinced he’d soon get bored when he found
much younger girls. But his visits became more and more frequent.
He even visited when the kids were around and helped them with
their homework. What was he playing at? He kept on assuring me of
his loyalty and I was a bit annoyed. Had he thought about the age
gap? ‘I don’t care about that. Why should you?’ he pleaded.
Then it was accusations and questions when we were apart, moody silence when we
were together. In short, our romps wasn’t fun any more.
“As soon as he left my place for his parents’ house, my mobile
would beep with texts. Are you going out later? Who with? Has
uncle Akin been around?’ that last question made me see red. ‘Uncle Akin’
was an ex-boyfriend who’d become a good friend nothing more. I warned him
to be more matured the way he behaved but it was obvious he was infatuated with
me.
“Poor thing, breaking his heart hadn’t been part of the
plan. All I wanted to do was introduced him to sex, not scar him
forever. But the more he sulked, the more I saw him for who he was – an
adolescent grappling with his emotions. Now, to my shame, I realised that
he wasn’t matured enough to handle casual sex. To prevent things from
reaching a dangerous proportion, he would have to go.
“After I’d reached this decision, I was looking for ways to make
the break less hurtful when he visited and started sulking he saw ‘Uncle Akin’
and I together somewhere. Whether or not he was bluffing was irrelevant
here. I was really fed up with the nuisance he’d been. Quietly, I
held his hand and told him: ‘look, this is not working, I can’t do this any
more.
“It’s over, you need to get a girl of your age.” He stared
at me for a few seconds, then burst into tears. ‘You don’t mean it,’ he
wept. ‘We can’t be over, I love you. You said yourself that you
loved me …’ I’d never felt so ashamed in my life. Now I saw clearly
the lesson I’d inadvertently thought the poor boy. That love hurts and
women can’t be trusted. All because I’d been too selfish to resist his
strappling physique.
“The days that followed were awful. There was no ignoring
his pain. He texted, phoned, came round, begged. But I couldn’t
give in. I’d used the poor boy for sex and I hated myself for it.
There was no need to prolong his suffering. In the end he got the
message.
“I hope some day he will move on with his life – just as I have
moved on by going out with a man my age with whom I could have a relationship
that is right. Not a teacher and pupil; not vixen and virgin. Youth
and experience certainly don’t mix.
“He’d since gone back to college and my friend who was his boos
told me he called me a heartless bitch. That I used him as a plaything, a
sex toy. He said he fell for me after I’d led him on to believe I loved
him. I felt really sorry for him. What could have been a fun thing
had now turned into a sordid affair that I regretted…”
Nigeria News Paper
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